A Souless Flame, A Flameless Soul

Listening to music but not too loud.
Im thinking too much, need to write this down.
Life's getting to me what would seem a bit early.
I hate to see myself as so unclean,
or feel like I'm not proud of anything,
but I do, this wasted time is threatening.

I know I'm young but this feels like everything,
and everything depends on us connecting,
us connecting my thoughts to your hopes,
and hope its what you want.
Thats all that ever passes my mind.
Should you care and is it worth your time?
Not knowing how to feel wieghs upon my heart most.
Not knowing who to trust when they have nothing to show.
Not knowing what to do, about as lively as a flameless soul.
Not giving into the end, it's as useful as a breath of smoke.

When I'm losing it,
you bring me back down.
  When I'm ready to quite,
    you turn me around.
You're all I lack,
there's no turning back,
  I'm all I hate,
    but my love's not fake.

Listening to music, I've turned it up now.
I'm thinking too much and need to drown it out.
She's getting to me, and she's not even here.
I hate to think she thought of me and didn't care,
or feel I lost my chance to have this,
but I do, this wasted effort was a hollow bliss.

I know I'm young but age feels like nothing,
and nothing feels like it use to,
like we use to, say, "it's just for you",
just for you, is everything I do, "lover meet truth".
Everywhere I look it's the only answer I find.
I'm not good enough, or you don't want to be mine.
Not saying why, makes everything heavier.
Not saying what, must look like regret to her.
Not saying how because I don't know what to blame.
Not meeting the end as we did the start, so we've changed.
Not giving up on you, we're not holding a souless flame.

When I was losing it,
you brought me back down.
  When I was ready to quite,
    you turned me around.
You're still all I lack,
and there's no going back.
  I'm all I hate,
    but my love's not fake. 
      and I'll never give up,
         I hope that's enough.